Swearing is Caring, and I Care a Shitload

A few weeks ago, I had a friend of mine came up to me and said that one of my articles was very offensive to him. Normally I would not give a shit if I offended someone, but this is a long time dear friend. I think very highly of this person, and I have never worked with a person equal to his character.  He explained that the language in it was a little more than usual, and to be fair; I did go a little bit farther than I normally do.

I told him I was sorry about that, and that I would try to come up with an alternative page where there would be no bad language. The next day I thought about it some more and decided to review the article. When I saw the photo I picked for a featured image, I completely decided that I would not do an alternative site. The article was titled “Don’t Be Silly, Nobody is raping mother earth.” This was the featured image

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Two things; one, If you see an image of a hand giving the damn finger, and a title that mentions raping mother earth, then I don’t think it should be a surprise that the words damn, shit, or fuck would be contained in it. Two, my site is called “I Am Tom Nardone” if I started that other site with the nice language, I would have to call it “I Am Almost Tom Nardone”, so fuck that shit. because I really am Tom Nardone and I dont believe anybody in the world would ever want anything less than me. Some of you already know this, but I AM FUCKING AWESOME!

I write about things I find humor in. I do not want to inform you, teach you, motivate you, or challenge you. I want to make you piss your pants, and I want you to love me for causing you to do it. I don’t think that is too much to ask of a human being.

Some of you have heard this “You could be just as entertaining without using that kind of language”. I hear that sometimes, but we all know that is complete bullshit. Swearing is funny and entertaining, it is a huge energy saver, and we cannot do without those who find it offensive.

Swearing is funny, and entertaining

OK we have all seen Pulp Fiction. It is a classic movie. If you have not seen it, then I am not sure you are supposed to be here right now. Samuel Jackson has a scene in a restaurant where he tells the robbers “Give me my wallet” the robber asks “Which one is yours”. He replies “It’s the one that says BAD MOTHERFUCKER” sure enough there was a wallet that said that right on the front of it. First of all there is no better swear word than motherfucker. There is no other word on earth that would adequately do that scene justice. It had to be motherfucker!

Have you seen “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.” Imagine any word other than fuck that could have been used in that scene when he was picking up his rental car. Sorry, nothing but the fuck word would have even been close to good enough

Swearing is a huge energy saver

The only way to get your point across is have the attention of your listener. Now if your audience is indifferent toward your message they will not give you their full attention. Picture this; your kid comes home from school with a shitty report card. This is not acceptable. You have to gain your smart-ass teenager’s attention. You could just yell, but you are tired and you just don’t have the energy. Strategically chosen swear words used in the right manner can get this point across in a very clear way. I will give you an example.

Your smartass teenage son comes home, and hands you his shitty report card. Upon your telling him that this is not acceptable you see him smirk, as if to say, “yah, yah dad I have heard all this before”. Instead of yelling try saying this;

“Son, the fucking world wants to take a bite out of your stupid ass. I am trying to help you avoid this. So imagine what kind of a god damn clown you must look to me as you slap my hand away. Right now, all they want is a bite, but when you get out into the fucking real world, they are going to bend you over that stupid car of yours and jam a fist covered with talcum powder up your gentle little ass like Caligula. So you can either grab my hand, or you can grab your ankles you little shit.“

Now, (long pause)…..I am not condoning or condemning this kind or parenting. That is not the purpose of this post. my point is in that scenario, swearing took the place of yelling. energy was saved.

We need people to be offended

I hope we never see a fucking day come when swear words are gone. What makes them swear words is the people who are offended by them. If people start to accept these words, then they will cease to be swear words. I therefore have to be happy that people are offended.

If you think about it, every person in the world who swears is unknowingly taking steps to a world without swear words. The more we use them the more people will get used to them, and then they are no longer bad, and swearing loses its power. The people who bitch about bad language are increasing its power with every bitch they can muster. It seems a little backwards to me. But the truth is the truth.

I don’t think everybody should swear. I think people should do what they want to do. I read a lot of blogs. Some of them swear and some of them do not. I don’t judge a blog or a person based on the swearing or on the lack thereof.

I do personally gravitate toward those who swear because their passion and their anger is easier to see. Some people don’t really have a knack for swearing. It is a skill, and the more you do it the better you get.

Joe Smith is a fine writer, a fine father, and a kick-ass master of the profane arts. I love that man. This site is the second blog I ever read. I read the story called “how to get your ass kicked” and I lost it. I really laughed hard so hard I cried.

Joe on behalf of your followers, your friends, and the swearing community, we salute you and your commitment. You even cared enough to include swear words in two of your blog titles, and we thank you for them both. You doing that, is like a bumper sticker that says fuck you. Joe we love you and thanks so much. We hope you will not be gone much fucking longer.

I want to thank those of you who are still reading for your time, and in the spirit of this blog, feel free to stick a swear word into any comments you may have. You can do it for me, or for Joe, or maybe you just want to do it for yourself. I respect those of you who are not potty-mouths, so don’t consider this a request or a demand.Just do what makes you you.

I am Tom Nardone, and you are welcome.

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