Hey Joe! I’m kind of surprised more people haven’t written to your advice column! So far I think what advice you have given has been right on the money. I was kind of hesitant myself to write in, because of how close to me this issue is. Please don’t publish my name or e-mail. If you want, you can call me “Unfaithful”.
Here’s what happened. Before my husband was deployed, we had been trying hard to get pregnant. Each month as his deployment was getting closer, the pressure got worse. When we had just about given up hope, I finally got pregnant. It was wonderful! Shortly after he left, I began bleeding, and eventually lost the baby. I didn’t want to tell him, because this was his first deployment, and he was stressed enough as it was. I was devastated for about a month. With my husband being gone, I had kept a lot of the anguish to myself. Fortunately, I’ve always been good friends with his older brother. His brother and I were commiserating when something unexpected happened. We had sex. It doesn’t stop there though. We continued our little fling for a couple of weeks. Then I missed my period. Oh shit. Each time I talk to my husband, he asks about the baby. I tell him about the one I’m currently carrying, so he doesn’t know any different. The thing is, I feel horrible about this, or as the case may be whorable. I can’t tell him the truth now, because I’m not sure when he’ll be home. Do you think I should keep it to myself? I haven’t even told his brother anything yet. What should I do?