Home » Humor » Thank You to Tony Stark…

Thank You to Tony Stark…

"Self made...hmmmph!"For reminding me that I’m yet to turn my genius abilities into a huge financial empire! Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the fact that your dad built a super cool weapons factory, and died to let you be in charge, mine didn’t. That’s true. However, I have far greater mental abilities than you. One brilliant shining example is that giant hole in the middle of your chest that houses the arc reactor (which I’ll be coming back to in a minute).  If it were me that had shrapnel threatening my heart, I would use the reactor to charge the retaining cup with positive ions, then use a negative ion pulse to charge the shrapnel, and pull it to the cup. It would only be a matter of time before the shapnel was completely out of your body. But hey, that’s just me.

Let’s talk about the arc reactor. Shall we? A true genius would’ve scrapped that dinosaur as soon as fusion reactors became an option. Fusion is safer, more durable, and doesn’t cause blood poisoning. True, it’s still volatile, but a man with your resources should be able to figure something out. Also, the gold-titanium alloy that the suit is built of should probably include a super hard ceramic plate base. Alumina is a good option for a hard ceramic base. Come by my work, and I’ll be glad to show it to you.

What I’m getting at here is that you need to step aside, and let me show you how to be Iron Man. Granted, I won’t be able to actually get back into the suit until I lose some more weight, but I could do the whole rich genius with a love interest with no problem. Until then, I’ll stay out of the Iron Man suit and get back into my workout suit. I wouldn’t want to look like this guy (?) that I found at http://www.break.com.826a86dd-c4cf-4bca-8897-f7349f4f2e37Because, as far as I know, Iron Man isn’t supposed to have a camel toe…



  1. tinkadele says:

    Oh! You’re going to be Iron Man now, wherever do your talents end? 😛

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