My friend and fellow blogger, Jeremy Crews (backwoodssurvivalblog.com) does this thing on his Facebook from time to time where he shares random information about himself that the people that really know him well don’t know. I think that’s kind of a neat idea, so I’d like to share a few things about me with whoever finds themselves reading this.
Things You Don’t Know About Me – Part 1
1. I never thought I’d be a writer. In fact, in high school I changed my class schedule to prevent taking keyboarding classes. I remember telling my best friend that it wasn’t something I’d ever need. It’s not like I’m going to work for the newspaper when I graduate. To this day, I still type pitifully slow.
2. I worked at a funeral home during the summers when I was in college. It was a pretty cool gig. I mowed grass, washed the cars, and went with the other guys to get bodies. It totally changed my view of death and religion. Also, it had the added benefit of preventing me from doing stupid shit that kills people. I have seen a bunch of possible candidates for the Darwin Awards. A few probably could have won.
3. I like to be in the spotlight. If there’s any chance to find myself on stage in front of people, I’m there…well, kinda. I don’t do karaoke. If you do, regardless how well you think you sing when you’re shitfaced, you look like a fucking idiot. Oddly enough, although I like to be in front of a crowd, I get nervous being part of a crowd. I just don’t trust them.
4. I graduated from college with a degree in Criminal Justice with honors. I have no intention of EVER using it. Cops always end up one way or the other: a great cop with no pay for working himself to death (sometimes literally), or the arrogant prick that acts like he’s doing the world a favor by being a cop. If the second is you, I mean this in the best possible way; fuck you. You’re the reason guys like me that could be a cop, never ever want to be.
5. I believe legalization of marijuana could end a lot of the problems America has. Obviously, stoners generally lack aggression, but it goes further than that. Legalizing it would remove an entire segment of drug-related crime from America’s criminal justice system. America’s jails and prisons are way too overcrowded, and any relief would be a welcome change. Instead of enforcing the question of legality, why not tax it, and kill two birds with one stone(r)?
6.I’ve driven cross country from North Carolina to California and back over 100 times. Totally unrelated to #5. I used to drive an 18 wheeler to deliver furniture manufactured in High-Point, NC to everywhere out west. Fun fact: a living room set purchased in High-Point for $1,600.00, sells in California for $5,200.00.
7. I’m a reader. Like hardcore. I read between 3 to 4 books at a time depending on what I have available to read, and my mood. Whenever I finish one of the three or four, I’ll generally find one to replace it.
8. I believe the solution to many of America’s problems is for Americans to quit being pussies about their politicians. Check this out, these are current annual salaries:
Majority Party Leader – $193,400
Minority Party Leader – $193,400
Speaker of the House – $223,500
Majority Leader – $193,400
Minority Leader – $193,400
The current salary (2013) for rank-and-file members of the House and Senate is $174,000 per year.
Why are they so high? Why don’t our soldiers get better pay, if we can afford to pay these assholes this much? The answer is simple: Because America isn’t motivated to get rid of these windbags. It’s easier to ignore it, and go back to watching Honey Boo-Boo than to start a movement.
9. I believe in shit that you probably don’t. I believe in both aliens, and ghosts. If you don’t believe in aliens, you’re an idiot. Every star in the sky is a sun similar to our own. All of them, even the ones in other galaxies. If you don’t think there’s any chance that maybe one of them has some prospect of life orbiting it, see my post about high-fives, to the face, with a chair. Ghosts on the other hand, I believe in because of 92 days I spent in a house with one. It did not end well, or quietly for me. Fuck ghosts, and fuck that house.
10. I have a feeling we’re all wrong about religion, and our past. Again this is unrelated to note mentioned above. This isn’t “Ancient Aliens”. If you want details, send me an e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org